Levity: Political Analogies

It has come to my attention that often, when one is angry, they are not often regarded as having a sense of humor. Recently this has been the case at Food Network Humor, where the assclam editors make a living off of teasing Food Network stars and guests in a variety of ways; there preferred methods of teasing generally revolve around race, sexual orientation, gender identity, body type/size, education, intellect, fashion and addiction. Those ladies sure are a riot, and it shouldn't surprise you that I would rather eat a shat upon leather shoe from 1864 before I found any of their bigoted "humor" funny. Now, there are some people who are tit-for-tat arguers. They're the folks who want you to come back with an equally lengthy, sassy, 25 cent world filled reaction to what they've said or done in order to prove your argumentative viability. Pffffffft. I do what any self-respecting humorless feminist does and I report their image thievery to the legal department at Food Network.

Nevertheless, and back to the point, I'm hilarious AND I love to laugh. I've been committed to listening to the Judge Sonia Sotomayor hearings the past two days, and will listen through to the end if I can, because it's a rather momentous occasion, don't you think? But I can't help but get distracted with the Republicans. For some reason, my brain immediately began finding TV personalities to associate their voices and manners of speaking (and faces) with...I suppose it must be Al Franken, who many years ago mocked the Supreme Court Justice nominations proceedings on Saturday Night Live.

Today we've heard from Jeff Sessions, whose middle name is Beauregard. That's very fancy, right? Naturally I compared him to Leslie Jordan's character on Will & Grace, Beverly Leslie. A Southern, conservative, seemingly-closeted, constipated little man who managed to make everyone giggle despite being deep in denial and oh-so-politically-incorrect.


Secondly, we have a double analogy. If only I could use this one retroactively to score that much higher (read: lower) on my SATs. The ENTIRE time Utah's Orrin Hatch spoke, I was completely uncomfortable. He had this deep, mono- yet scolding tone and I couldn't figure out why this skeeved me out so much. While considering the reasons why a scary Republican Mormon named Orrin would terrify me, I began to grow giddy with excitement about the inquisition we're all expecting from South Carolina's Lindsey Graham. That man is ridiculous, and I'm sure that he's got Beverly Leslie-esque "business associates" much like our friend Jeff Sessions seems to have. Who on Earth could I compare him to? As luck would have it, my commitment to popular television, specifically the HBO series Big Love provided the perfect comparisons. I give you, The Greene meets Hatch-Graham Analogy.

Lindsey Graham is to Selma Greene as Hollis Greene is to Orrin Hatch

I assure you, dear readers, I do have a sense of humor and I engage it quite regularly. I also do not spend every waking moment thinking about how much Etsy enrages me, nor do I spend every moment thinking about my blog, my business or my craft. More than anything, this post should illuminate WHY I get enraged about those topics WHEN I do...because I care about the world around me, the people who are calculatedly attempting to corrupt it, and how I can educate myself to be part of the difference.

Local Review: Paper Cult @ Tyson's

Never in my wildest (and I mean wildest) dreams, did I think that there would be a shop other than Williams & Sonoma that I would actually be excited about visiting within the confines of a mall. If you're not from the DC Metro area, you might think that the Mall of America in Bloomington, MN is as [terrifyingly] big as a mall can get; but while I haven't done the actual square footage measurements, I'm inclined to think that Tyson's Corner, the metropolis that has taken over McLean, VA, is a close second. Filled with every store you can imagine, from corporate to regional establishments, Tyson's Corner is a shopper's dream and a anti-consumerist's worst nightmare. Yet I found myself in that behemoth of a mall a few weeks ago, stocking up on some last minute supplies at Beadazzled for a show I was doing the next day, and Em "just really needed" to stop by Lids for a new baseball cap. We compromised and stopped by Lush and Williams & Sonoma too, because if we were going to enter the insanity that is that mall on a Saturday, we might as well make it worth our while (shut up, I can't help it!). While Em was entranced with one of those little trolley's in the middle of the walkway, I spotted something potentially amazing: Paper Cult.

I slammed my bag into Em's hand and said, "I'll be there!" while I gestured wildly and took off like a bat out of hell (or a teenager on her way to Claire's? I don't know.) for what I had already imagined to be, in my head, Stationery Nirvana. You see, when I lived in Switzerland, I made a meager 500Sfr. monthly for my nannying gig, and since I had very few expenses, the majority of my income that year was spent on stationery and postal fees for friends and family. What began as an obsession a few years earlier with fun papers and things from bookstores and Hallmark turned into an all out design hysteria when I walked the streets of my favorite European city. Chat Noir and Ordning & Reda were my frequent haunts...the latter so much that the shop girls knew me and sometimes gave me a sample or two of the latest designs. There was a portion of my suitcase reserved for the stationery I carted home after my trip too. I haven't been able to stop since.

Paper Cult provides, in the midst of consumeristic choas, a haven for people like me who cannot get enough stationery, paper, office supplies, and magazines...all with a particularly keen eye to design, function and color. While the shop is small, it is neatly organized, fairly priced and wildly inspirational. As you walk in, you're greeted with racks displaying magazines from every global locale you can imagine, especially with a heavy dose of Asian and European publications.

Much like Papyrus, Paper Cult has a number of racks displaying individual sheets of [wrapping] paper (about 2'x3'), but the distinction here is that the papers Paper Cult provides are UH-MAY-ZING. Everything from the vintage-inspired to psychedelic pop art, subdued to bright, flat to textured, serene to mind-blowing...I insisted that Em wrap a birthday present to me in a "super girl" paper and got the shop owner giggling. The walls are filled with greeting cards that you've never seen before...hilarious, simple, sarcastic, graphically astounding, inspirational and just plain beautiful. On a hefty and minimalistic table, of sorts, there is a bevy of boxes filled with more paper delights, journals, notebooks and ribbons, and in the far corner, unique desk accessories and little knick-knacks from around the globe.

Malls need stores like this, frankly. Malls need stores that inspire you, that get your creative juices flowing, and that are owned by local folks who endeavor to bring awesomeness to your hometown. People shouldn't have to travel downtown in order to find places like this, and it honestly makes me incredibly happy to see that a boutique like this can thrive in a malltroplis like Tyson's Corner. As a special treat to all local folks, Paper Cult is have a 30% OFF SALE through July 19th on EVERYTHING (except magazines) and I highly encourage you to get your fannies out there and buy yourself a stationery treat.
Or...and here is my Mister Roger's moment of the day...buy a card to send it to someone with whom you've lost touch. Write a sweet note inside, affix a stamp to the envelope and send double goodness into the universe. Stationery is a multi-fold blessing and letter writing a lost art...merge great design with the two and you have a revolution in the making.

Paper Cult is located on the lower level of Tyson's Corner Center, across from The Limited. Check their blog often for new store updates!
1961 Chain Bridge Rd
McLean, VA 22102
www.shoptysons.com

Bad Blogger: Frustration is not a muse

I'm sure there are some people out there who can fire off an e-mail or a blog post when they're in the thick of anger and frustration and somehow manage to remain coherent, intellectual and thoughtful. Once upon a time, I think I was one of those people (specifically: when I was breaking up with really awful people in romantic and friendship arrangements. Man, I could make people HURT.). Now, not so much. Perhaps there is some small sliver of hope in my old and haggered soul which permits people the opportunity to be saved from my Leonine tempestuous rages. Perhaps I lack confidence in my ability to succinctly and intelligently convey my thoughts and feelings on the page. Perhaps this platform prevents me from engaging in full disclosure, because everyone and anyone can react *with words* to what I'm saying. Nevertheless, I have been very frustrated lately and subsequently have avoided any vulnerability that this blog could provide.

Now I'm sure you're saying, "OH JESUS Meaghan, just post recipes and your favorite Etsy links and stop being so sensitive." After a gesture of kindess and goodwill (note: the gesture is neither kind nor good, mmkay) in your general direction, I will tell you that when I am stuck in a bout of anger, I'm not particularly moved to care about the things that I consider frivolous. Recipe Tuesdays and fun crafty bits are included in that frivolty as I am under no illusions that they sustain my soul in an enduringly satisfying way. I am nothing if not an overthinker and constant analyzer, and despite the gargantuan size of my head, I cannot handle more than one task when the primary focus is giving a shit about other people.

What the hell am I talking about and why am I always writing two paragraph-long introductions? I suppose the psychological explanation is that I'm a disclaimer junkie...in order to not offend anyone, I issue a litany of disclaimers so as to confuse you with my brain warfare and make you nod your head in agreement once I get to the meaty stuff. Right? Oh, no. In all honesty, I'm kind of wimp and coming right out and saying that I didn't apply to Crafty Bastards and that I'm considering ending my relationship with Etsy makes me feel scared. But I did that, and I'm thinking of doing the other and I have some very fundamental and important reasons why. The acknowledgment of privilege, and subsequently the acknowledgment of diversity, is much more important to me than playing the "game" of mainstream/indie crafts and feeling like I belong to the pack.

I've posted a series of mini-diatribes about these topics...diversity, racism, and the general disinterest the crafty movement At Large seems to have in uplifting people who might not fit into the standard mold of "crafter". I think that Etsy and many other crafty machines are willingly and destructively ignoring the ability they have to be not like every other consumeristic and capitalistic machine and do the right thing by the people who might not have the same number of opportunities as other crafters. As it stands, Etsy's membership is 96% female, and I can only assume (with great accuracy, I bet, because I'm good like that) that the majority of that membership demographic is also heterosexual, cisgendered and white. THAT is a problem. As I've said before, feminism doesn't stop with uplifting women. And while there are a lot of women on Etsy and in the craft community, I also don't think it's inherently feminist.

When you operate from the belief that feminism is the fight to end all oppressions, and you also believe (acknowledge?) that all things are political and should be, to some degree, entangled with the fight to erradicate oppression and level out privilege, being a part of the Etsy and craft community is very, very hard. At every turn I do not see positivity and light, I see room for growth and change. The direction I (personally/generally) want things to move in is the place from which all of my energy is derived. In this case, I cannot be tethered to a movement that resolves to stay apolitical, that is systematically being absorbed into the mainstream machine (please read this article from Forbes which notes that Etsy has received [a lot of] money from a Wal-Mart magnate), and also seems ambivalent about supporting the oppressed groups that function within it. In my case, I am a queer person and I generally see very few on the face of Etsy or the craft movement who are out (or comfortable being out) and also I have received little support from Etsy or the craft movement when I point out this reality. While I am not a person of color, I will say that the lack of exposure on Etsy is lacking (severely). Also, the degree to which the white hipster contingent has appropriated fashion, aesthetic and even artistic inspiration is offensive.

Note: Last year, I did receive a batch of buttons and stickers from Etsy for a queer music and arts festival I was co-producing because they seemed to be drawn in by the allure of marketing to gay people. And subsequently, I have been an Etsyvangelist for years because I somehow thought being loved was enough.

Being loved, adored and generally tolerated is not enough. In my specific case, I'm not interested in Etsy or any other facet of the craft community being my fag hag. General technological and programming issues aside, it seems like no matter how hard we try, most of us won't be chosen to be among the Etsy/Craft elite. Daniellexo, Etsy admin, said in a recent Virtual Lab entitled Feature Friendly Tips For Your Shop, "Don't make it a goal of yours to be a featured seller." This further illustrates my suspicion that there is an agenda, if you will, a prescribed method by which Etsy selects its featured sellers and that quite honestly, no matter how hard you try, you might not ever get there. Do you understand how sad and unmotivated that makes me feel? I mean, sure, I could join ArtFire or set up my own selling website, or just sell locally, but I shouldn't have to constantly choose. I shouldn't have to inconvenience myself nor should any other person who has the shoe of oppression smashed in their face constantly have to move on or away from things that perpetually disregard their (our) very real, uh, realities. Don't you get it? This is why oppression is bad...because it doesn't, in the end, help anyone.

Conforming to that persistent uphill climb that Etsy and the craft community establishes for people, and striving to be successful (also "happy", "positive", "optimistic"...as though I am none of these things already) according to their terms, and only really being the recipient of mondo sales and exposure IF I'm on the right page at the right time is EXHAUSTING. And it's also devaluing. Because if we're all artists, to some degree, conforming to the popular machine should be the least of our worries. At this point, I'm considering making it the least of mine.

**While I support an open dialogue on my blog and in my life, the one thing I will not tolerate here is face-fanning offense and insults directed at me from basically anyone, but specifically the white, cisgendered, heterosexual women I have discussed above. Consider the fact that my experience is in many ways radically different than yours. Also, consider that this is my space and that there is a general expectation that you would, at least, take into consideration the fact that I have very carefully constructed my own personal dogma and that devaluing that, in many ways, is akin to taking a crap on my doorstep. Which, as we all know, does nothing to support your perspective in the end.

Interlude: The Shondes @ Black Cat SUNDAY!

Many years ago, at a time in my life when I was absorbing queer culture as though I were an unquenchable sponge, I visited the Charm City Kitty Club at the behest of a close friend. We wound up getting a group of lovely ladies together, dolled ourselves up and joined the hip, indie queer scene in one of my favorite towns. The performances were pretty fantastic, with local troupes and interludes of poetry and other inspirational art. The evening concluded with a band with which I was previously unfamiliar. As the musicians walked onto the stage, I believe I smacked the arm of my not-quite-yet-but-soon-to-be-BFF and let my jaw drop to the floor. To be honest, they could've played Mary Had a Little Lamb and I would've been sold...these people were HAWT. But as they lifted their mics, drumsticks, fiddles and guitars and started to perform, I was solidly convinced that these folks were quite possibly one of the best queer bands I had ever seen...and would ever see.

The Shondes "make dramatic rock music that has been compared to Sleater-Kinney, Patti Smith, and Rasputina." While in many ways I am just naive enough to have little idea what that means, they are skilled musicians who can speak to an audience on many distinct levels. For music connoisseurs, their technique seems to be spot on (I can't even play the recorder, okay, but I know it's true!). For people who love an energetic and visually appealing show, the band puts every ounce of heart and soul contained within their bodies to the stage...jumping, sweating, pounding, ripping fiddle strings to shreds. And for people like me, who require a inspiring lyrical component, generally with a social justice edge, The Shondes do not disappoint.

Their songwriting fuses the various musical traditions of feminist punk, classical, Jewish, and queercore, while their vocal melodies move effortlessly from anthemic to haunting, textured by the distinct qualities of each of their voices.

The Shondes are playing Sunday night at the Black Cat (note: one of the few bars in the city committed to keeping the stupid cast of The Real World DC out...which basically makes them multiple degrees of awesome). Tickets are $10 for the backstage performance, with The Bitter Tears, and the show starts at 9:00pm. I really hope that during this season of Pride and reflection, you support queer/trans-identified artists like The Shondes who continue to push the envelope and inspire us to live with strength, conviction and to always put on one hell of an amazing show.

And I'm telling you folks...they are hot. I mean, look at the picture! Whatever...sometimes it's ok to be a little shallow. Right?

Oh Hello: What? I have a real job!

What the hell have I been doing lately?

Well, I'll tell you. I had oral surgery, had some complications from oral surgery, worked through most of it, went to Pride with my awesome and amazing Queer Crafter Collective, pondered the meaning of Etsy and all of my curmudgeonly critiques of the crafter community, made 15 dozen cookies, became re-aquainted with the deliciousness that is homemade iced tea, developed a bit of a cough and worked some more. Y'all, I'm worn out.

There were quite a few comments made in the Ponderings post about Etsy and my recommendation of a disclaimer, and I want to just state for the record that I appreciate every single one of them, and that I'm still considering all of them including my perspectives on things. My feelings and thoughts on the matter are certainly not firmly planted in any sort of negativity or cynicism. I am more than willing to listen and grow and even change my perspective. So thank you for shining light on new points of view and thoughts and trust that I will have more to share and say about the subject soon!

Capital Pride with my Queer Crafter Collective friends was wildly reaffirming. There are moments when I question my ability to be committed to so many things...this blog, my shop, doing the dishes. But being involved in Pride was such a valuable and significant reminder that this is something great. Why do we need a QCC? Well, contrary to popular belief, queer people don't exclusively make things with rainbows embedded in them. Sometimes queer people aren't necessarily visible and this is a group dedicated to bring visibility to queer artists and crafters, because what we do isn't necessarily mainstream. Here's a few pictures from the day.

I've started a new project which I may or may not sell. Mostly, I'm motivated to do it because it excites me and I don't know if I'll be able to part with it. It's a continuation of the little pieces of Cubicle Art I've been making, with a kitchen/culinary theme. I'm going to take relatively similar, somewhat dimensional, pieces of kitchenware and stitch them on various sizes of fabric, framed with embroidery hoops. Each image will also have the word for the item stitched near it. I was telling Em that I was worried my first piece was too morbid, but I thought it'd be easy so I went with it. Trust me! There's a whisk, measuring cups, teakettle and other very sweet and innocent things in the future! What do you guys think?

[Insert: Slasher movie soundtrack here]

And finally, I have a little treat from my mom. She sent me this picture today after I insisted on seeing her latest baked work of art. Every ounce of baking talent and interest I have can be attributed to my mom. I mean, look at this! This is ART.


Seamus says hello to one and all, too. You are more than welcome to check out the pictures and videos we've compiled at his Flickr Stream. He's tried Frosty Paws, had his first Pride and has already gnawed on my beautiful Crate & Barrel leaning bookshelves. Oh, what a cherub.

Happy Weekend.

Etsy Finds: Water Not Required

How much do I love this?! It's a plant, that I don't have to water, with pinking sheered edges and quaint vintage-y yet modern fabric! It comes potted and ready to perch in your home or office! What a very brilliant idea!

By janejoss - $45

Craft Ponderings: Results Not Typical

Before I get started with this post, I'd like to issue a disclaimer: This entire series of "craft ponderings" is just an example, within a niche, of how I am constantly questioning the status quo. I do not endeavor to offend anyone, but I'm well aware that it happens. I do this because I am instinctively compelled and because there is some part of me that believes the world will be a better place for everyone if we lift the veils and remove the blinders that prevent us from living to our full and rewarding potential. You might feel that I sound like a righteous pessimist, but in fact I am the complete opposite. I am an optimist of the highest order and I do this as a means to an end...that being a better world.

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The craft world, specifically those tethered in some way to Etsy.com, is all abuzz (or intentionally ignoring) about an article recently published on the online newsmagazine Double X (which appears to be by and for women and simultaneously managed by the overlords of Washington Post/Newsweek/Slate). I say that because I generally find it laughable that women, who are tethered to such enormous news machines, feel like they've founded something novel and new, something devoid of a relationship with or support from the patriarchy. They are all puppets attached to strings, given a platform for entertainment and pseudo-intellectual purposes but still inexplicably connected to a machine (like our government?) who can remove their right to publish at any time (does this sound familiar?). Locally, we have The Sexist. What I'm trying to say is that these online newsmagazines portray themselves in a way that would suggest they are somehow authorities on feminism and modern women's issues, but this is only relevant if you're middle class, 20-40 year old white women who buy into the patriarchy, even accidentally.

Moving on, Double X published an article, which should ignite the craft world and Etsy patrons (sellers and buyers). There are some substantial, frustrating and annoying generalizations/errors/overstatements. I cannot deny that I am tired of white women placing "feminist judgments" on the shoulders of other women, white or not, because they are not acting in a manner that would suggest they care about feminism. Ultimately, nothing about Etsy is about feminism...not in its business/community practices OR in its outcomes. It's capitalism and consumerism in a really, really magical, handmade disguise.

Last night, when I was pondering this article and this conundrum currently plaguing me (don't know about the rest of y'all), a Subway commercial came on television. That insipid marketing plan, with the repetitive melody and brain-snatching hook, is just another way for a big company to convince me that I need what they're selling. In the case of this economy, I need a big sandwich for my buck...I need a $5 footlong so I can still stand in line with the other drones and not get judged for bringing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to my boring and inspirationless cubicle. And a few years ago, Subway made me feel bad about being fat, and they tried to convince me that if I just went into their store everyday at lunch and bought a sandwich with certain ingredients, I could be just like their venerable spokesman, Jared Fogle. Because wouldn't I love to lose hundreds of pounds eating processed meat, cheese, cheap oil and vinegar and nutritionless iceberg lettuce?! Wouldn't I love to believe that with just a little work and commitment to Subway's suggestions, that I too could be a slim celebrity!?

Kirstie Alley and I are here to tell you what's what.

Etsy is just as much a capitalistic/consumerist machine as Subway is, and they are taking the same shameless approaches to engage you in sugar-coated dreams. The Quit Your Day Job series is one example of how Etsy continues to sell us a dream of virtual impossibility. The cast of characters in the series almost always fits a certain number of requirements: female, heterosexual, married, SAHM/SAHW, white, educated. I know that a number of those descriptors that don’t fit who I am, so I’m inclined to believe that they are also not representative of the diversity that must exist in the sellers and patrons of Etsy. Why does Etsy care if I quit my day job? They care because they will make more money. Yes, yes, of course they can and will tell you that the more people who employ and sustain themselves without the need for corporate involvement, the better…for you and for the world. But their responsibility is to themselves first, and the more sellers clamoring for sales and for the ability to sustain themselves, the better off they will be. When Maria Thomas, CEO of Etsy, says that their number one goal is to bring buyers to sellers don’t be fooled into believing that it’s just for the seller’s benefit. They make money on every sale, too.

Personally, I am not opposed to the concept of quitting my day job. I think it is a noble goal, but I think that Etsy has a lot of work to do if they actually intend to create an entire universe full of self-employed crafters. I think the first responsible move Etsy should make is to label all Quit Your Day Job stories with a disclaimer: Results Not Typical. We demand this of corporations such as Subway and Weight Watchers, and the FTC has entertained the idea of insisting that testimonial results be representative of typical outcomes and not incredible feats of magic and perseverance. Etsy has that same responsibility, in my opinion. The results are not typical when women are financially bolstered by part-time jobs, husbands, trust funds and the like…they are unusual, rare and extraordinary. Painting them as anything else is disingenuous and Etsy should be culpable for this misrepresentation.

Optimism is a fantastic and energizing fuel that a person can engage in order to achieve their dreams, but sadly it is not all we need. I am optimistic that by writing these posts, and speaking out against the potentially corrupt and misleading tactics used by the consumerist machine, that the world can and will change for the better. And when the betterment of the human race is the goal, I am confident that the opportunities for crafters and artists to financially sustain themselves will open up like a sky after a particularly strong summer storm.

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Image courtesy BeeListy.com